


My Shmoop is no Act

by Grisly_Goober



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib is too smug for his own good sometimes, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Hurt and comfort, I love Zim’s computer, Professor Membrane and the rest of the family to come later, Shmoop and comfort, Zim is very shmoopy, the comfort comes later!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-09-26 03:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grisly_Goober/pseuds/Grisly_Goober
Summary: Zim and Dib find out that the Tallest don’t care for Zim... Shmoop occurs...





	1. ????

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, y’all, former IZ deviantart goblin back from the mid-2000’s to write about my favorite platonic relationship because Enter the Florpus was-. Wow. It has the power to resurrect a fandom everyone was scared to look back on.
> 
> Granted, the fanfics have less lemons X3, authors don’t have to worry about teh flames as much, and no one does that thing where the characters interact with the author in script format, so... I wanted to rejoin the party!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story where Zim gets horribly depressed and Dib learns to sympathize with the thing he’s trying to out to the world!

Dib wondered how he found himself in this situation. Tied up tightly in thick Irken cables, dangling over his Nemesis’s couch in his living room. He remembers something about finding proof of Bigfoot just lying in an open meadow. A single footprint. Nothing else. In the middle of a meadow. Dib would be kicking himself for taking the bait so quickly if Zim hadn’t put cuffs on his ankles.

“You won’t get away with this, Zim!” Dib started pathetically.

“Silence, Dib-Stink!” The alien in front of him yelled back, “I’ve got you completely indisposed and vulnerable to whatever my devious Irken imagination has to offer!” Zim slumped a bit from his dramatic pose, “But my superior intellect is so great, I’m having trouble deciding on what I should do with you! Lobotomy? Vivisection? Let a cow nibble off your toes and fingers? Turn your big ol’ head inside out? The sky is the limit... Gir! Give me suggestions!”

The robot formerly watching cartoons squealed, “OOOOOH, get some of them microwavable mini-enchiladas they got on sale!”

“Not for dinner, Gir! The boy, they boy! Focus-“ Zim realized who he was talking to, “Eh! Useless! Minimoose? Might you have any particularly nasty ideas hidden in that moosey brain of yours?”

“Nyah!”

“Woah, that’s repulsive! I love it, but we should save that sort of thing for when The Tallest-“ Zim’s antennae twitched frantically, “THAT’S IT, THE TALLEST! They’ll know what to do! Computer!”

A dramatic sigh fit for a Nine Inch Nails fan filled the room, “Ugh. WHAT.”

“Call The Tallest immediately, I have big plans for the Dib and I want their opinion! I haven’t spoken to them since the Florpus incident, I’m sure they want updates from me, their most valuable Invader!” Zim commanded.

“Oh, of COURSE, Master, I’m sure they can’t WAIT to hear from YOU again..” the computer snarked.

“Yeah, I know.” Zim said, nodding his head aloofly.

Dib began to get all wiggly within his his restraints. What would Zim’s horrible masters suggest? He was already shaken by the filthy, diabolical schemes that little moose had suggested. Then, Dib remembered he was wearing the (new and improved) peace day bracelet his father had made custom just for him- colored black and more compact than the other bracelets so it could blend in with the rest of his attire- he’d also remembered he downloaded an app specifically for getting out of cable restraints! If he could just dislocate his right hand and activate the app like the instruction video had taught him, he’d be out of this mess. As long as Zim could just stay distracted...

“Gir! Monitor the prisoner as I make this call!” Zim ordered.

“Yes, my master!” Gir said in his rare, gruff voice as he turned bright red. The robot stared at Dib with a sobering, dangerous scowl for about five seconds before immediately taking a nap. Fortunately for Dib, Zim has already started the call and was too fixated on the monitor to notice.

The picture came in clear and revealed the two masters of the Irken Race, the Almighty Tallest. They did not seem too thrilled as they caught sight of who was calling.

“Oh, no no nO NO NO!” Purple shrieked.

“Why do we not have caller ID at this point?!” Red commanded.

Dib noticed the interior The Tallest were standing in seemed to look kind of not clean and tidy. In fact, it looked like some parts were sloppily forced back together, and some parts of the wall looked charred and ruined. The Tallest themselves looked especially stressed (more than the usual “Oh no, it’s Zim!” stress, unbeknownst to Dib), and their armor looked scuffed up and worn. Did they seriously fly into the Florpus hole??? Dib thought their ship looked strong enough to simply turn around...

“My Tallest, I present to you a boy-tribute! I plan to follow-“

“Zim! You’ve got a lot of nerve calling us so soon after creating a giant space anomaly in our path!” Red said, right to the point.

“Space anomaly?... You mean my Florpus Hole?” Zim asked.

“Yeah, that one!” Purple answered, “We-“ 

“Were you impressed?” Zim interrupted.

“Wh- What?”

“Were my Tallest impressed that I, Zim, a top-tier Invader, was capable of teleporting Earth a schmillion light years across the galaxy and in the process, creating a deadly Florpus Hole to destroy it for my masters to witness in person?” Zim asked eagerly. If he had eyelashes, he’d be batting them.

“Wait,” Purple said, “So you DIDN’T create that Shmorpus to kill us all in a fit of revenge?”

“Revenge?” Zim questioned, missing the way Red jabbed at purple’s middle with his elbow, “Revenge for what? I just wanted my Tallest to witness the beautiful and horrible destruction of the planet Earth by the hands of ZIM.”

“You have to wait for us to come to you, Zim, that’s how it works.” Red said, “And because of your lack of patience, the only thing you managed to almost destroy was our ship. We only just merely escaped the horrors the Florpus had to offer a week ago!”

“Yeah, you know how many bags of donuts we lost in the process, Zim?!” Purple added, “Two!”

“Huh? What? You drove into the Florpus hole? Why didn’t you just turn around it?”

“Don’t question how your Tallest handle obstacles in our straight path, Zim!” Purple berated, causing Zim to flinch back on the other side of the screen, “Now, as punishment for-“

“Wait!” Red interrupted, bringing Purple into a huddle. He spoke softly as not to let Zim hear them over the call, “Don’t set him off, we’ve both seen what he’s capable of!”

“He’s so small though... One of the smallest Invaders ever!”

“Yes, he’s too small to make rules and decisions like us, but that doesn’t mean he’s not capable of total destruction! Remember Impending Doom One, remember when we tried to nerf his pak, remember when he caused a Florpus Hole!!! That almost killed us a month ago! How did he even get his hands on something that could harness that much energy?!”

“You’re right... Something’s seriously off about him. Total weirdo even when we were kids.” Purple then crammed an entire bag of donuts down his throat, dry-swallowing them all like a disgusting anaconda, “He might mess up every little task we give him, but he always leaves a path of destruction in his wake.”

“I know.”

“I hate him so much.”

“I do too. Just let me handle this...” The Tallest un-huddled and turned to face their faux Invader, “Zim, you’re obviously struggling to take control of this... Very advanced planet, to the point where you sent it through a Florpus Hole, and it’s still... Not destroyed.”

“Yes, the fact that I can walk and breath on this planet at all is a testimony to my high-caliber talent!” Zim said, puffing his chest out as far as the skinny thing would go. In the background, Gir asked Zim if he picked up any more Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

“Mm. As an Irken Invader, we hold everyone to the same standards of survival. We don’t expect you to conquer a planet of this caliber within the next century or so.”

“Oh....” Zim’s antennae sank down. “BUT WHAT IF ZIM-“ 

“We don’t have higher expectations than that expected of any Irken Soldier. We’ll get to you when we get to you. And to ensure that you won’t repeat the same Florpus Hole fiasco....”

“We’re temporarily blocking your number!” Purple finished.

“WHAT!” Zim screeched, at full attention now, “But! My Tallest, do not be so hasty, h-!.. How will I update you with all my new accomplishments?? How will I contact you if I’m, Gorg forbid, in danger?!”

“We expect you to be sufficient enough to stay out of harm’s way by the time we get to you.” Red answered.

“And when will that be?! You said you expected a hundred years at least, so-“

“Yeah. Until then, bye Zim!” Purple said, waving.

“Yeah, bye, Zim!” Red said, following Purple’s lead.

“That felt great!” Said Red.

“I know!” Purple added.

The monitor turned to static. Zim stared at it, and laughed in disbelief. “Haha! Those Tallest.. They had me going! As if they could go that long without hearing stories of my victories!...” He sat in silence for a minute or two...

“.... Computer?” Zim asked in a small voice,

“What do you want NOWww...”

“Call the Tallest?”

...

“Unable to call the Tallest.”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID, unable to call th-“

“WHY!!”

“The number you are trying to reach has blocked you.”

“No! Call the Tallest!”

“Unable to call the Tallest.”

“Call The Tallest!”

“Unable to call The Tallest.”

“Call The Tallest!”

“Unable to call The Tallest.”

“Call The Tallest!”

“Unable to CALL!! The TALLEST! URRRGGGH!”

This went on for about half an hour before Zim asked, “Is there a way to bypass the signal block?”

“The only way to bypass a signal block is to hack into their firewall manually. However, this is only possible as long as they’re within a radius of hundred light years around the house satellite.” The computer answered gruffly.

“So if they’re within a hundred light years of us... There’s a chance to speak with them...”

“Yeah, that’s what I just said.”

“I see...”

“...”

“Are they in range now?”

“.... No.”

“I see... And... How about n-“

“They’re not coming back for you, Zim!!”

Zim spun around so fast he nearly got whiplash. Behind him, Dib was standing over his destroyed restraints. On the couch next to him, Gir sat eating taquitos. “Gir! I thought I told you to watch the Dib!”

“Oh yeah...” Gir said, eyes already fixated on the cartoon he had turned on after Zim’s call. He lazily nibbled on a taquito. His master groaned before turning to Dib. “How long were you there? How much did you see?!” He demanded as his extra legs flexed from his PAK in a threatening stance.

“I got around to escaping when your masters were huddling and talking about how weird you were!” Dib said.

“What! You were listening in on them?!” Zim looked at Dib as if he had farted during a funeral service for a generally well-received president.

“Uh, yeah? Weren’t you?” 

“Us Irkens have the respect to shut off our hearing when our Tallest enter a huddle to talk about us behind our backs...” Zim explained haughtily. An anxious expression then crossed his face, “But there’s nothing in our social order saying we can’t find out what they said if a filthy human overheard them- What did they say? Tell me!”

Dib glanced away as he recalled the Tallest implying that Zim could probably overpower them if he was angry enough. He could emit that part from Zim. He didn’t want to see what the Invader could do with a destructive mindset and inflated ego. They weren’t friends, so Dib didn’t mind telling him a half-truth that would send him into a shmoopy episode. In fact, he’d probably be doing the Earth a favor if he did!

“Uh. Do you think you can handle it?” Dib asked.

“Zim can handle anything! We Irkens don’t wallow in pitiful little emotions like you dirt-humans!” Zim said as if Dib didn’t see him in his sad little cheese cocoon of depression about a month ago.

“Well.... They were saying you were small. Real small. The smallest Invader. So small, that you couldn’t even make intelligent decisions.” 

“Mm-hm.” Zim nodded with his hand resting on his fist, trying to hide the crack in his voice, “Sounds like a bunch of dirty little lies, but go on?”

“They were saying something about how they grew up with you?”

Zim nodded and hummed at a faster pace, tipping Dib off that he knew this was proof that he heard them right,

“Sound about right? Anyway, they were just saying how you were always a huge weirdo and that you kept failing at the smallest tasks you were assigned to. Oh yeah, and I remember them mentioning something about how much they hated you.” Dib tried to look as coy as possible and not like he was hiding all the bitchy, smug feelings inside him at that moment.

“That can’t be true! None of that can be true,” Zim said, eyes suddenly very glazed, “Computer! Is this human telling the truth?”

“Technically the human is telling the truth.” Computer answered, probably entertained by the drama in the house.

“Unbelievable!” Zim said, stamping his feet, “I refuse to believe this! It can’t be real! If it was, why would they make me an Invader? Twice!”

“Maybe the first time they felt sorry for you, so they gave you a pity mission, and the second time, they sent you as far away from them as possible so they wouldn’t have to worry about you screwing things up?” Dib answered, finding it strangely harder to be smug.

“Th-That can’t be...!” Denial and realization dawned on Zim, the latter becoming more and more likely. The unexplained disdain The Tallest has for Zim during calls when he only had such cool stories to tell, being assigned a barely functional SIR unit, the charge from the canon when he brought the Earth to The Tallest as if they would have blasted him to bits as well... Not only were his Tallest not coming, but they apparently thought he was a loser- no, he was objectively a loser. He’d tried so hard to conquer a planet full of the dumbest life forms possible, and the one stopping him on a daily basis was a large-headed child. Speaking of which,

“Ok, so...” Dib brought out his paranormal handcuffs, “Obviously, I have to lock you up and show your pickled body to the world now, so if you’ll just come with me,”

Dib has expected Zim to lock himself in the handcuffs like last time during his shmoopy depression. Something Dib was emotionally prepared for this time. What he didn’t expect was the sudden kick to his abdomen that sent him... Not as far as it could have.

“No! Get away from me, Dib! I’m not gonna let my end be those braindead humans cutting me open and naming my organs stupid things, like the doily, or the cheesewaffle!”

“I could go for a cheesewaffle!” Gir yelled from the couch.

Dib stood alert. Maybe he should have let Zim stew in his shmoop a little longer before capturing him, wait til he no longer felt like living- Wait, that sounded a little harsh. Or did it? Zim was an alien Invader, he didn’t deserve sympathy!

“Well, it’s the end you deserve, Zim!” Dib said as he circled his target, “I can’t leave you alone this time and let you blow up the planet!”

“What would it matter? The Irkens wouldn’t see it!” Zim said, punching at Dib,

“Yeah, that’s what you’d want me to think, huh?!” Dib said, catching Zim’s fist and bending it backwards. Zim flinched and raised his second fist only for that one to be caught too. Zim writhed in pain as Dib continued, “The truth is, you couldn’t blow up the Earth if you wanted to.”

“Let go of me!” Zim cried weakly. Dib was suddenly inspired,

“You’d probably go back to being sad, little Toilet-Zim.”

Zim screeched at that, twisting in Dib’s grasp. His PAK legs care out in an apparent attempt to fight their human captor, but they tangled on themselves and fell to the ground, limp. Zim was crying at this point.

“Computer?” He called, voice breaking.

“Uh-huH?” The Computer responded in a tone that was hard to distinguish from sarcastic and genuinely amused.

“Why isn’t my PAK working? I- they.. the legs are all noodly!” Zim asked.

“PAK is an example of bio-mech Irken machinery. The legs respond to an Irken’s natural mentality of hatred and spite. They can also be activated when their owner feels tru danger. They do not operate to their standard when their owner is experiencing WiddLe bAby FeeWinGS.”

Zim went limp at that and fell facedown to the floor, bawling his eyes out.

“Ooh...” Dib commented, “This does not feel... Good...”

He watched his enemy hyperventilate on the floor for a few seconds, the puddle of tears surrounding him growing. Dib turned to where Zim faces to address the computer earlier, “Did you have to go and harass him like that?!”

“Whaaat, he’s an Irkenhecantakeit,” the computer trailed off. Dib could feel the metaphorical eyes rolling.

“Dib again stares at Zim, conflicted. He knew better than to give Zim the benefit of the doubt, but on the other hand, last time he saw the alien like this, Zim had later admitted that his feelings were sincere. How strong were the feelings he was feeling now? The same feelings that Dib very much related to? Feelings of abandonment and ostracism? Feelings like thinking his.... Family(?) Didn’t respect him?

Dib made a grotesque-sounding noise before pressing a button and releasing Zim from the cuffs. The Irken’s arms flopped to the ground like worms and he barely acknowledged the change by lifting his head in question. Dib winced when he caught sight of Zim’s face. He was a very ugly crier.

“So!” He started, “I hate you, and you hate me. This is really, um. Sad... So I’m just gonna go.”

Zim sniffled, “Y-Yeah, that’s right, human! Resort to your... Weak, primitive feelings!” He then went back to bawling on the floor. 

“Yeah, so... I’ll come back later?” Dib offered.

“Ok...”

“Great. So, uh....” Dib awkwardly nudged Zim’s shoulder with his foot in an awkward attempt at comforting the alien emotionally, “Seeee yaaaa...”

Zim gave a muffled, blubbery response, and Dib took that as his queue to leave the house. As he closed the door and walked past the eerily still gnomes, Dib realized this was going to bite him in the ass later.


	2. Welfare Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib and Gaz check on Zim

Dib stared at the monitors that were surveilling Zim’s House. There hadn’t been any signs of the little green man for a week. Or at least, as far as Dib knew. Ever since he’d let himself go the last time his nemesis had disappeared, his dad, Gaz and his “other dad” had an intervention the first day Dib had started to show signs of “ChairDib.jpeg”, and his family had enforced a “two hour screen-time” rule in the house.

“Ok, Dib, you’ve reached your limit! Get off the computer and do something else!” Gaz said, kicking her way in her brother’s room, “I suggest a shower. You’re starting to get that gross obsession stink.”

“Come on, Gaz, five more minutes!” Dib begged, “I really think Zim is playing me this time!”

That part wasn't completely untrue. Dib had a small feeling that the state he saw Zim in might have been another act, but then again, he’d never looked so pathetic and sad as when he’d attempted to fight back. Subconsciously, Dib was mostly feeling hopeful that Zim would walk out that door with some dangerous looking weapon of mass-destruction, and then he’d be ok to take down again!

“Noooope,” Gaz said as she unceremoniously unplugged his PC, causing all his monitors to go black.

“Oh, come on!” Dib grumbled, “How come you’re allowed to play video games all day and I only get two hours to keep an eye on the alien that can kill us all??”

“Maybe because I don’t get so obsessed I forget to take showers, get some exercise and eat healthy?” Gaz replied, taking out her little gaming console to make a point.

“Well.. I’m not going to let modern parenting techniques get in the way of my mission!” Dib donned his long jacket and grabbed his briefcase, “I’m gonna go on a steak-out!”

“You really think Zim’s gonna just let you camp out on his property and wait to ambush him?” Gaz asked.

“Oh, he won’t care, he’s totally miserable ever since finding out his masters don’t care about hi-...” Dib sucked in his lips, realizing he’d probably let more on than he would have liked.

“Wait... So you think he’s doing his shmoopy act again, or is he actually sad?” Gaz asked, recalling an exchange between Zim and her brother a month ago.

“It’s kinda hard to tell, he seems really depressed. I mean, I left him crying on his living room floor last time I saw him, so-“

“Zim cried?!” Gaz snapped her eyes open, surprised.

“Uh, Yeah. Twice now. It was kinda spooky.” Dib couldn’t read his sister’s expression beyond her surprise. Was she curious about emotions from outer space, or did she maybe have some tiny sliver of concern for the Irken? Now that he thought about it, Zim had an odd sort of rapport with his sister. He shivered, not liking how that sounded in his head.

“Can I come with?” Gaz asked. Dib assumed the latter.

“You want to come with me? To Zim’s house?” Dib asked, “Why?”

“I dunno, might be funny.”

“.... Oh...”

“Yeah...”

Dib considered it. Gaz never wanted to “come with”. Not with him. Not ever! But he’d be bringing his little sister to Zim’s territory. Then again two heads were better than one, and Zim really didn’t seem to have a personal vendetta against his sister like he did with him.... But-!

“Ugh, stop sitting around making dumb thinky noises, let’s go already!” Gaz complained.

“Oh..! Right..”

Dib left his room with his briefcase in hand. Gaz followed. They passed the kitchen where their dad was trying to teach Clembrane how to clean the house instead of make pudding constantly. It was working, kinda!

“Leaving the house, children?” Membrane called, “Stay safe, the sun is setting soon!”

“We will, Dad!” Gaz and Dib answered in unison.

“You kids need any pudding? Or somefin’ Windexed?” Clembrane called.

“NO!”

The Membrane siblings walked to Zim’s house in silence that wasn’t totally comfortable, mostly because they were related and therefore obligated to have some level of contempt between them. Dib knew if he tried talking about “nerdy” stuff to her, she’d probably just punch him in the shoulder. It was sort of a relief when they arrived at Zim’s very unsubtle house. Dib looked behind him to check on Gaz as he walked past the ominously still garden gnomes. He took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

The door cracked open to reveal a disgusting mess on the couch. Binge nachos, piles of cold beans from the burritos Gir was currently devouring, and Zim, who was slumped in the saddest way possible on a couch eating ice cream as he watched whatever was on tv. He was wearing a stained bathrobe. Gir, catching the sight of Dib, put down his burrito to give a warm, friendly “Hi, Dib!”

Dib waved back and the odd little robot. He had no beef with him. He felt a sense of deja vu as he looked around Zim’s depression cave. Did it really take Zim that short amount of time to be reduced to this state? What did he do now that he was here? It hardly felt like a victory if he tried locking Zim up like he was now.

“Woah!” Gaz exclaimed, taking it all in, “Zim??”

“Yeah, that’s me, Irk’s biggest embarrassment. What do YOU w-“

Gaz interrupted Zim by slamming her fist very hard in his gut, knocking him off the couch. Dib balked as the Irken cried out in pain.

“That’s for kidnapping my dad!” Gaz explained, crossing her arms.

Zim groaned in pain as he hoisted himself up from the ground, arms cradling where his “squeedily spootch” was. He narrowed his eyes as he looked up at Gaz. “I’ll give you that one, Dib-sister! Just that one!”

Dib smiled in quiet awe at the outcome of his sister’s boldness, and attempted to follow her lead by walking up to Zim, reeling back his fist, and-

-and his fist was caught mid-punch by Zim, who squeezed his fist hard enough to make the skin turn white.

“What, I can’t get a freebie hit in like her?” Dib jerked his enormous head in Gaz’s direction, “He’s my dad too, y’know”.

“You had several ‘Freebies’ last time you were here, Dib-beast.” Zim warned, before swiftly throwing Dib to the ground, “And stop rubbing your family in my face! We get it, you have a dad! Now, why are you here?”

“Are you... Jealous that I have a family?” Dib questioned from the ground. This just made Zim irritated.

“How DARE you insinuate that I’d succumb to such goopy feelings! I am Irken! I have no interest in the stupid nuclear earth family and it’s dads, I-“

“YES, YOU DOOOOOO!” Came Gir’s grating voice from the couch, “You been watchin’ all the family shows with me- See?”

As Zim tried to give Gir a berating look, Dib and Gaz looked toward the TV- Some sort of underwater nature documentary was playing, narrated by some french guy with an incredibly thick accent,

“Here, we see ze noble seahaughrse. Ze female deposits eggs into ze father’s pouch, who fertilizes zem and carries zem to full term, and eventually gives birth to ze entire brood- let’s watch.”

The seahorse on screen gave a guttural, unearthly scream despite being underwater as a swarm of squealing baby seahorses flooded out of him.

Despite himself, Zim’s features softened. Dib didn’t miss it. Zim caught Dib’s questioning eyes and his features hardened again, “It’s confusing!”

“What’s confusing?” Dib asked.

“Earth children are such needy little parasites who don’t even know anything when they’re born! They just take and take and take, and yet their parents are willing to throw themselves in danger and fight hundreds of robots and go, ‘NYEHH, I’ve got your back!’”

Dib winced at Zim’s obvious, very bad impression of his father. Gaz just glared up at Zim, who didn’t see her and continued,

“But possibly the most baffling part of it all is that they’re all willing to do.... That!” Zim pointed to the screen, where the seahorse was painfully squeezing the last of his children out of his pouch with an ugly wheeze, “What was going through your Dad-master’s head when he wanted to go through THAT?!”

“Go through?..” realization struck Dib, “Our dad did not carry us to full term, Zim!”

“How do YOU know?” Gaz challenged.

“I don’t- That’s not...” Dib shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. This was not the time to question why he never knew his mother- “Get out of my head, Gaz!”

“It’s gonna be pretty hard, trying to get out of a head THAT big.” Gaz said, shoving her brother back. Behind them, Zim giggled. They both turned to him. His first instinct was to clear his throat and give them a sobering glare, but under their gaze, he just started snickering again.

“My head’s not that big...”

Zim started laughing. It was honestly a little weird, hearing him laugh without a maniacal “I’m gonna blow up the world” twist to it, but it also felt kind of... Refreshing. Gaz joined in, and Dib cracked a smile. What an odd moment he was experiencing. Laughing with the enemy. But as soon as he gathered his bearings, so did Zim, who began to wail.

At the sight of Zim breaking down, Gaz immediately sobered. She leaned towards Dib, “This is weirder than I thought it would be...”

“I know..” Dib whispered back, “It almost feels kind of wrong when he cries..”

“Hey, Master, lookit this!” Gir said, sensing Zim needed cheering up, “When I press rewind, it looks like the seahorse is suckin’ up allll them babies back up in his tummy!”

Zim watched just that, and his sad feelings melted away to be replaced with those of disgust, “Gir, that is FILTHY, give me that remote!” He swiped the remote from Gir, and before the robot could start the biggest tantrum of the century, switched it to season 53 of Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy. Gir was instantly placated.

“Ugh... eh...” The Irken shrugged his shoulders and accepted the situation before him. His antennae then flicked up, remembering something, and he turned around to face the Membranes with such force that his bathrobe twirled upwards,

“WHY DID YOU COME TO MY DOMAIN, AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, HUMANS?” He screeched. Both siblings, used to Zim’s antics, did not flinch.

“I just wanted to check on you and make sure you weren’t planning anything evil!” Dib said, “The last time you got all schmoopy, you seemed like you were really sad and then you took advantage of my dad’s keynote stream and almost blew up the world!”

“Uh-HUH.” Although he wasn’t wearing his contacts, Dib could tell he was rolling his eyes.

“And now... You seem all over the place, like you’re experiencing every emotion at once... it’s unpredictable..”

“Are you saying I’m a def-! ...” Zim’s eyes and antennae shook like he was struggling with the words in his mouth.

In his mind, Dib suddenly entertained the idea of agitating Zim to the point where he reacted violently, just so he’d feel validated in trying to lock the alien up in his cuffs, but dismissed the idea quickly- The consequences of hurting Zim emotionally would either be that Zim would cry instead of lashing out, or Gaz would lash out instead. She never liked Dib’s bullying methods, even if they were directed at a certain alien who’d tried to enslave humanity countless times.

“I just need to know what your plans are right now.” He explained.

Zim squinted his eyes and glared at Dib, “I don’t know. I’ve never been like this.”

“Like what?”

“Without a leader!” Zim snapped, “All my life I’ve had someone above me, guiding me, and now that I KNOW those above me want nothing to DO with me!... RRRRGH!!!”

Dib winced as Zim awkwardly tried to fight his tears back in. His sadistic side was once again further shrunk away to the back of his head at the sight of the alien in such a pathetic state. Gaz, however, was not having any of it,

“Oh my GOD, stop whining, you stupid zealot boot-licker!!!”, She yelled as she gave Zim a shove, “What did your leaders ever do for you to deserve your attention, huh?”

Zim’s expressions fluctuated between surprise, anger, confusion and curiosity. “Y-You!! You disrespect my Tallest-“

“Tallest, leaders, fascist pigs, WHATEVER.” Gaz got angrier as she went on, “Whoever these ~Tall-Ests~ were, they obviously did nothing but get in your way!”

Dib, not liking where this was going, decided to intervene, “Uh, Gaz, maybe this isn’t-“

“Shut up, Dib-stench!” Zim cut him off, “Can’t you see your sister and I are talking?!” He turned back to Gaz with rapt attention, “What do you mean they got in my way?”

“Think about it, what do you want the most? What inspired you to do anything at all?”

“To show everyone how incredible I am, of course!” Zim said, before frowning, “But now, no one will ever see...”

“Yeah, because your leaders deliberately sent you so far out of their way so they WOULDN’T see your accomplishments because they wanna keep the little man down!”

Zim’s antennae short straight up, and Dib prepared himself for the glass-shattering “YOU LIE!!!” that never came. Instead, the Irken cocked his head, and stared curiously at Gaz for a moment. “Human... If what you’re saying is true... Then I’ve been... Wasting my years in this fruitless endeavor?” Zim asked quietly. The lack of screaming was honestly unnerving to Dib somehow.

“Of course! But can’t you see what a blessing this is now that you know?”

“No! How could this be a blessing, knowing that my leaders have been leading me on like this? For so long? How could they do that to me!” Panic became more evident in Zim’s voice as he kept putting more and more 2’s and 2’s together.

“If your Tallest aren’t concerned with you, they can’t tell you what to do anymore! Don’t you get it, you dumb alien?” Gaz grabbed either side of Zim’s shoulders and shook him vigorously, “You are FREE from them! You can do what you want without worrying about what THEY want! How many other Irkens can say that?!”

Zim’s eyes got impossibly big as he realized just what position he was actually in. “Oh... Zim is.... free.”

“Yeah!”

“Free to do what I want...”

“Yeah!!”

Dib started to get uneasy again.

“Free to rebel!” Zim continued.

“Yes, that’s right!” Gaz shouted.

Zim’s face lit up and took a breath, “F-F-F!...”

“Say it.” Gaz said.

“F-..”

“Go on!!”

Zim gave a few rapid breaths, and Gaz, knowing Zim well enough at this point, took a few steps back.

“FUCK THE TALLEST! ZIM DOES WHAT HE WANTS!” Zim bellowed dramatically.

“YES!!!” Gaz cheered.

Dib winced at both the volume, and the fact that Zim just dropped an f-bomb like that. But knowing his enemy was beginning to hate his masters... was exciting somehow. Good for him?.. He wanted Zim to go one about that and thought of all the possibilities of a cool space rebellion where he was the leader and Zim was his sad, less cool lackey.

“Hahaha... oh...” And in a typical Zim fashion, he suddenly became increasingly anxious, “I just.. cursed my Tallest.. I just cursed my Tallest!” He nervously bounced in place, “I could be de-activated on the spot if they found out about this...”

“But you won’t be, because they won’t find out.” Gaz said, “They don’t care, remember? You can do what you want now? What do you want to do?”

Zim latched onto the distraction that was the latter question, and thought. Dib, now extremely anxious about Zim’s answer, leaned in.

“... I don’t know.”

“What?!” Dib squawked.

“I don’t know what I want to do!” Zim repeated, “I’ve been serving the Tallest my whole life! I don’t have any idea what I CAN do without any direction! All Zim DOES know is... I want to be praised!”

“Uhh, well,” Dib started, “your boots-“

“Yes, I know, they’re pointy! I didn’t want praise now, earthfool!” Zim snapped, “I want to earn it!”

“You gotta stop using earth-based insults, now that this is your home now.” Dib said.

“That’s not true! Zim can go anywhere-“ It dawned on Zim that he used his only temporary base on this planet. Not only that, but Irkens without the backup of their leaders couldn’t go very far into the galaxy without getting chased by an angry mob. He was kind of trapped now, “But I guess this planet will have to do for now!”

He slumped back down, “But now I just need to find a purpose..”

“You know, you COULD provide a lot to the pseudoscience community by turning yourself in-“

“I AM NOT SUBJECTING MYSELF TO THAT!” Zim barked.

“Just a suggestion!” Dib defended, holding his hands up.

“Hey, Zim,” Gaz called from the couch, “while you’re figuring out your life or whatever, would you mind taking player two? I need one to get the stupid ‘Real Friend’ achievement on this game.” She held up a controller, and Zim balked as he realized she had brought her portable gaming system and hooked it up to his TV when he wasn’t looking.

“Oh, sure make yourself at home, why don’t you!” Zim yelled.

“I already did.” She sassed.

“Computer, how could you? You’re supposed to be the protective firewall, but here you are just letting anyone mess with my-“

“Oh my GOD, unclench and play a video game already.” The computer said.

Zim shook with mild rage, but stopped as fast as it started, and hopped up on the couch. “Fine! If I’m gonna life on this planet, I might as well see what’s so special about this... Video-gaming.”

As Gaz booted up the game, Dib creeped around the couch and asked her quietly enough for Zim not to hear, “Gaz! Why are you being so nice to him? Do you not remember the whole Florpus incident? Him kidnapping our dad? You know that’s the same Zim, right?”

“‘Nice’ doesn’t describe what I’m about to do to him,” Gaz said, “and besides, Zim crying is so weird and awkward, it was better when he was trying to destroy the world.”

Dib gave her an incredulous look, but she continued, “Just... You like studying paranormal things, right? See where this goes. Study from it, or. Whatever.”

Skeptical, Dib crossed his arms and watched. Meanwhile, the game had booted up with the main menu and theme music.

“Vampire... Piggy Hunter- Hey! This guy looks like me! What trickery is this?” Zim demanded.

“Pfff. You wish you looked like him.” Gaz said, starting the game.

Ten minutes in, buttons were mashed, combo attacks were performed, and screams were heard- mostly from Zim.

“I win again.” Gaz deadpanned.

“You filthy CHEATER!” Zim yelled, throwing the controller on the couch (He at least knew better than to throw HER controller to the ground), “I can’t continue playing such an unfair game!”

“Yeah, me neither,” Gaz shrugged, but I have ten more minutes to add on two player mode- Dib! Take over for me.”

Dib juggled with the controller thrown to him, before settling it comfortably in his hands, “What? But I barely know how to play!”

“Perfect.” Gaz said, pushing the Continue button for him.

“I could have done with a more competent opponent, but I guess this will have to do,” Zim said cooly.

“More competent?? Oh, you’re ON, space boy!!” Dibfocused on the TV, competitive nature settling in, he was now determined to show the alien his place.

Gaz watched in disgust and made ghost-button presses with her hands at what had to be the worst, most painful game of Vampire Piggy Hunter: Battle Planet ever played. To his credit, Zim had caught on with the controls fairly quickly, but he kept getting confused at what was physically possible in-game and what wasn’t. Why couldn’t he run past an invisible barrier? Why did his punches fly straight through the innocent bystanders he was trying to kill just for fun? What exactly was the gravitational pull on this imaginary planet, and why was it never consistent? And on the other hand, Dib was just awful, mashing “B” while standing in place while hoping somehow the damage would travel to Zim’s character, jumping excessively thinking it would make him move faster, and somehow finding game-breaking bugs that seasoned speed runners of the game never found before. Gaz had never been more embarrassed to be related to him. It was a “close” tie, due to Dib’s accidental game breaking, but in the end, Zim had stopped trying to kill the bystanders and put more focus into killing Dib’s character before it could stretch into a glitchy eldritch abomination and slowly drain the HP of everything on screen. Once he put his mind to it, Zim won quite easily.

“YES! VICTORY FOR ZIM!” Zim cried as he jumped on the couch and threw his hands in the air. Dib groaned. Gir squealed in excitement for his master, and Gaz breathed a sigh of relief, as if she’d watched a dying animal struggling to breathe finally get a mercy shot between the ears.

“Not fair, you totally cheated, Zim!”

“Zim did not CHEAT!”

“Really, Dib?”

“Ugh, I know,” Dib admitted, raising his hand and avoiding eye contact, “Good game, Zim.”

Zim looked at the hand skeptically, before remembering it was a handshaking gesture. He looked over the hand once more to see if there were any tricks, before pinching the skin on the back of Dib’s hand with two claws and wiggling it back and forth, “Yes, of course! A game with Zim is always good!”

Dib took back his hand and hissed in pain as he caught site of the red twin marks Zim’s sharp claws left, “Yeah, sure, man.”

“Haha, yes, I am MAN! Not hu-man, but very much a man!” Zim said.

A beeping interrupted their moment, and all turned to Gaz’s Membracelet. Zim squeaked as he realized the function, and he applied his disguise in record-time before the hologram of Professor Membrane materialized from the bracelet.

“Hello, my beloved children!” He announced.

“Hi, Dad.” Both children replied.

“I’m calling to remind you that dinnertime is fast approaching! And to tell you the good news that I’ve successfully taught Clembrane to only serve pudding AFTER meals!”

“That’s great news, Dad!” Gaz said, “removing chocolate pudding from lasagna isn’t easy!”

“Eh? Clembrane? You still have that thing lying around?” Zim asked.

“Oh! Your little green friend!” Membrane said, as he caught sight of Zim. “Why don’t you invite him to dinner, son?”

“Uuuuhhhhh.....” Dib and Zim mumbled in unison, staring at each other awkwardly.

“Sorry, you two! I didn’t mean to put you on the spot!” Membrane explained, waving his hands in front of him. He then turned to Zim, “Do what you feel comfortable with, but know that my home is open to any friend of my children!”

Zim stayed quiet, having no idea what to say about that. He might have said something about being called a friend of Dib’s, but a strong, unknown feeling was blooming in him, distracting him from opening his mouth. Dib looked at him from the side and raised an eyebrow at his unreadable expression. Zim didn’t notice.

Anyway, I should check on Clembrane- I left him to clean the toilet. Kids, stay safe on your way back home!”

“We will, Dad...” Gaz said, reaching for the button to end the call-

“WAIT!” Membrane hollered, reaching his hand toward the screen dramatically.

Dib and Gaz both jumped, “WHAT?”

Membrane then dropped the pose and brought his hands to where his cheeks were, “I love you both very much!”

“Daaaad!” Both kids groaned.

“It’s true! Goodbye!!” Membrane signed off.

Behind them, Zim was confused, and a little repulsed by the public display of affection. The human parents were like the masters of the children. Here, the Membrane-father had told his children, his loyal subjects that he’d loved them very much for no reason at all, which was confusing in and of itself, but then the children had dismissed his proclamation of love as if it were nothing, as if they were equals or something. If his Tallest had told Zim they’d loved him very much, he’d either be weary of what they wanted, or done literally whatever they’d asked of him next. But it was too late for that, as he was now painfully aware.

So painfully aware.

Oh my god, what had he done, what had he-

“Zim? Hello? Are you plotting something? Zim! Earth to- Hah! Nevermind, I shouldn’t just say th-“

“I require a spot at your dinner table tonight!” Zim announced.

“What?” Dib started, “You don’t need to- you’re allergic to like, every food why would- Oh, you have to be plotting something-“

“No plots!” the Irken interrupted, “Zim just desires to learn more about human dinnertime...”

“What, so you can make fun of us and feel superior to our primitive ways?” Dib challenged.

“That too!” Zim said, catching Dib’s scrutinizing look, “But also....” he trailed off,

“Also WHAT?” Dib badgered.

“Zim needs to be distracted.”

Dib folded his arms, and thought for a moment. “You’re actually really freaked out about the future, huh?”

“NO!” Zim insisted, “I mean, a little, maybe-yes?”

“Hmmm...” Dib gave him an uncomfortable stare, “Well... Just so you know, my house has the most superior security system known to man, and if my dad so much as-“

“Oh my god! Hurry up and let him come, it’s meatloaf night!” Gaz demanded, throwing a pig toy at Dib’s head. He flinched as some unknown fear was triggered as he caught sight of the pig, but he shook his head, forcing himself to forget about it.

“Well? Are you coming?” Dib asked.

Zim nodded his head, “Gir!”

“Yes, my Master!” Gir called, flashing red and giving a salute

“Watch the base while I’m gone!”

The robot’s eyes turned back to teal, “Will you bring me a doggie baaaag?”

“No, but I’ll order you a pizza!” Zim said curtly.

“YAYYYYYY!”

With Gir taken care of, Zim discarded the robe he was wearing, and marched out into the cool night with a confidence that he was sure masked his ever-growing anxiety.

Dib watched him carefully as they all walked to his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaz is hard to write, so I’m sorry if I seemed off! She seems like she studies her surroundings before acting, which is why she seemed so quiet in some areas.
> 
> Zim is shmoopy to the point where he’ll over share his problems, but he’s not quite at the point where he doesn’t fear getting dissected anymore. I think he was more suicidal in Enter the Florpus because he’d never experienced depression before and didn’t think about what he had to live for.
> 
> They’re all pretty hard to write in this scenario which is why this chapter took so long! It’s a little all over the place, but it’s here! Hopefully the next one will come faster.


	3. Dinner!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim goes to dinner and Membrane is a good dad.

The walk to the Membrane’s house was doubly awkward than the one from it, Dib thought. But unlike the walk from their house, it was not silent, because Zim seemed to be desperate to escape his thoughts and would try to make small talk with either sibling as they walked through the dark neighborhood.

“So!” He started at such a moment, clearly uncomfortable, “what are your thoughts on... Eh,” he looked around for something to talk about before focusing on the path before them, “Sidewalks?”

“Sidewalks?” Gaz turned around to look at Zim with one questioning eye open.

“Sure!” Zim continued, “I mean, some are smooth and neat, some are uneven and ugly, what’s up with that? What is the lore of these Earth sidewalks?”

Dib was certain Zim was just desperately rambling so he could forget his current situation, but the idea of “sidewalk lore” made him actually want to give an answer, “Well, there is the saying, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.”

“Explain!” Zim demanded.

“It’s just a superstition where we avoid stepping on those cracks in the sidewalk,” Dib explained, pointing at the cracks as they passed, “Because if you do, your mom’s back will break at that moment, no matter where she is-“

“YOU JUST STEPPED ON SEVEN CRACKS AS YOU WERE EXPLAINING THIS!” Zim yelled, “DO YOU HATE YOUR MOTHER?”

Several lights turned on around them. Gaz groaned. 

“Ok, first, shut up because everyone can hear us out here,” Dib stopped and turned to face Zim, “second of all, I don’t have a moth-“

“Because you killed her with your crack-stepping!” Zim gasped.

“No!” Dib brought his hands to his face, “I mean, I never knew my mom! And I don’t think that stepping on cracks is actually going to break her back, wherever she is- This is just a stupid game kids play!”

“Hm...” Zim nodded in understanding. Satisfied enough with his response, Dib turned and continued walking. After a minute though, he turned around to discover that Zim was half a block behind, staring daggers at the ground as he hopped carefully over each- Oh, for the love of-

“You know it doesn’t actually break your mother’s back, right?” Dib called.

“Just in case!” Zim replied as he caught up.

“You idiot,” Gaz mumbled to Dib, “You really thought it would be a good idea to give the alien with OCD a reason to avoid every crack in the road.”

“Oh man, I didn’t.. think of that..” Dib said, recalling his own Obsessive Compulsive Dib tendencies.

“Obviously.” Gaz replied.

“So wait!” Dib brought out his notebook and directed his attention to Zim? Who finally caught up, “You’re avoiding the cracks because you don’t want your mom’s back breaking, so I take it your mom’s alive?”

“I wouldn’t know. Irkens are grown artificially in tubes for the specific purpose of not getting attached to each other.” Zim explained as he hopped over a large smattering of cracks.

“Obviously it didn’t work that well if you’re going out of your way to not theoretically cause her harm.” Dib said.

“I’m not a savage, Dib-human!” Zim defended, “If I do have a... ‘Mom’ somewhere out there in the Irken Empire, I will make sure to avoid cracks associated with bad luck aimed towards mothers- It’s a sign of respect!”

“That she’ll never see.” Dib challenged.

“She doesn’t have to!” Zim replied. Dib couldn’t argue. He looked over the notes he had just taken:

Zim/Irken Biology  
* Possible mother???  
* Baby Irkens grown from tubes  
* Irkens discourage parent-child bonding  
* Irkens possibly protective of parents if they had them  
* Note: Zim does not seem to reject the idea of having a mother/parent

Satisfied, he put the notebook away and continued the trek towards his house. Maybe Gaz was my onto something about getting more information about Zim’s race from studying him... maybe asking questions was a better way to learn about the Irkens rather than simply dissecting one, as much as he hated to admit it....

As they approached the Membrane Manor, Zim slowed to a halt. He was beginning to realize that he’d be willingly stepping into enemy territory. Flanked by two human children. Into their domain ruled over by that massive, more intelligent human with the powerful robot arms and the science program that Zim may or may not have binged while doing his own lab work. The menacing aura of the house grew and Zim started to shake.... There were all sorts of reasons to just turn around right now, but the one reason to actually go inside stood out the most;

Zim didn’t want to think about his apparent exile, or freedom, or whatever it was, and the Membrane household could provide as a diversion from his current mindset.

So he marched towards the door (while avoiding the cracks), and waited with the siblings at the door. After a few seconds, the door burst open, and Zim had to jump backwards to avoid being hit by it,

“Welcome, children! Come on in, Dinner is served!” Membrane greeted.

“Hi kids!” Clembrane added, before catching sight of his creator and narrowing his eyes, “Zim...”

“Clembrane,” Zim replied curtly.

Membrane took note of the uncomfortable exchange, but said nothing, hoping to not escalate.. Whatever the situation there was...

Despite the odd start, everyone naturally filled their places at the dinner table. Zim took a spot in between Dib and Gaz. Hot plates of meatloaf, peas and mashed potatoes awaited them. Gaz dug right in, and Dib took a small bite of his potatoes before shifting his focus to Zim, who was scrutinizing the “loaf of meat” with his fork, sniffing and gagging at it.

“Dib’s little green friend?” Membrane questioned.

“I am Zim!” Zim greeted, already feeling nervous and alive.

“Yes, Zim!” Membrane said, snapping his fingers, “Is there a problem with your food?”

“Ohyahh, Zim’s like, super allergic to everything.” Gaz said around a mouth full of food.

“Daughter, don’t talk with your mouthful, it’s rude!” Membrane scolded, wagging his finger. Gaz rolled her eyes, but shut her mouth to chew anyway. Satisfied, Membrane turned back to Zim, “Is there anything you can eat, D- err, Zim?”

“Hmm!” Zim thought about it, trying to recall what human food he can eat without instantly getting sick, “I can eat waffles with syrup. But just one is fine. And no soap or peanuts!”

Membrane’s eyebrows creased in confusion at the latter request, “Oooo-Kay?” He turned to Foodio and typed in the request for a single waffle with syrup sans soap or peanuts. In seconds, a fresh waffle was in front of Zim on a hot plate.

After turning the waffle over a few times and smelling it to make absolutely sure nothing toxic to him was in the waffle, Zim cut an incredibly small bite and slowly lifted it to his mouth. He took a tentative lick, and encouraged by how his tongue didn’t burn on impact, placed it in his mouth.

“Hey, these aren’t bad!” Zim exclaimed, taking bigger bites.

Dib would have been taking more notes under the table if he hadn’t watched Zim eat a disturbing amount of waffles a year ago. But it was interesting that Zim apparently hadn’t explored the range of what he can and can’t eat. He at least quickly jotted down a note about Zim’s tolerance to carbs and sugar.

Meanwhile, Zim was silently studying everyone else during dinner. Gaz had already finished her meal and was asking for seconds. Dib was picking at his meal and taking notes under the table he thought he was being so discreet about. Zim held in a laugh. Stupid Dib. Clembrane had swallowed his meal in one bite and was currently at the kitchen counter vigorously stirring pudding. And Membrane.. Membrane just let his food grow cold...

“Hey, why aren’t you eating?” Zim questioned, earning sudden silence from both Gaz and Dib. The latter of the two had tried to send him telepathic “Dude, stfu” beams through his eyes, but to no avail. Membrane, however, just laughed.

“Oh, well, you see, I don’t usually eat when guests are around. But I’ve gone and created a plate for myself without thinking about it. I thought no one would notice.” Membrane explained.

“But that’s not fair, you’re the master of this house, yet you let your subordinates and a guest eat before you? Why?” Zim questioned. 

Dib was experiencing a feeling of imminent second hand embarrassment so strong he didn’t dare reach for his notebook, but he made a mental note to record Zim’s fixation on authority figures and their privileges.

“I really don’t mind,” Membrane said, “I have... A medical condition that might unnerve guests..”

“Hey, so do I!” Zim said, gesturing to his own entire complexion and forgetting all senses of courtesy and grace that you exhibited as someone else’s guest. Gaz and Dib’s souls threatened to erupt violently from their bodies, as they couldn’t stop Zim from his antics in this context.

“Hm! You make a good point, young Zim!” Membrane said, “I’ll eat like I do any other night- just like you are now!”

“Dad, you don’t have to-“

Membrane ignored his child’s suggestions as he then unbuttoned his high collar collar which revealed a large, black scarf-like band surrounding his jaw. He pulled that band down to reveal that his entire bottom jaw was replaced with one that looked like it belonged to a titanium skull. The bottom of the jaw had sequential spikes alongside of it, and the sides of the jaw had wires traveling down his dress shirt collar. The skin above it was marbled with scarred tissue.

Zim’s mouth hung open.

“It might look a little bit much,” Membrane explained sheepishly, a black tongue flicking behind his lip, “but all attempts to make my jaw appear more naturally human looked rather uncanny, so I thought a less subtle design like this would look more-”

“Amazing.” Zim finished, not missing a beat.

“... Oh?” Membrane laughed, “You like this design?”

“It has an aura of fury about it!” Zim said, making a tight fist and shaking it. His expression then shifted to a more curious one, “Can you taste with it?”

Membrane’s eyebrows went up in amusement, “Yes, I can taste- I actually dedicated a good portion of the last few years dedicated to the science of taste and nutrition so I could fully enjoy food as I used to! It took quite a bit of testing, but I believe I’ve perfected this field!”

“So that’s where this came from...” Gaz said, jabbing a finger at her father’s noticeably squishier tummy.

“Daughter!” Membrane gasped in mock-distress.

At Membrane’s apparent agitation, however, Zim jumped, and instinctually grabbed Gaz’s seat to jerk her away from her father. The whole room seemed to freeze in place as the main focus was directed to Zim.

... 

“Put me BACK, Zim.” Gaz ordered curtly. 

“Is everything alright, young man?” Membrane asked carefully, subconsciously hiding his teeth behind a gloves hand.

Zim stared blankly like a deer in the headlights as he gathered his bearings. As he came to, he complied with Gaz’s request and set her back at her place before answering Membrane, “H-haha... Of course not! Zim is just....” He trailed off and looked down. He could feel Dib’s eyes on him, burning with questions. Zim tried to will the boy’s attention elsewhere.

... Why did he just do that?

Unbeknownst to him, Membrane was meanwhile speed-searching several iterations of “troubled child behavior”, “signs of familial abuse” and “how to deal with scarred children” behind his goggles. He had to admit, he wasn’t what he’d call “father of the year”, especially regarding his past, where he’d felt more out of place in the field of parenting- especially with his son. 

He’d never prepared for this role that seemed so much softer and out of his comfort zone than he was used to, but he thought in the past year, he’d made some strides after reading a few parenting books and getting advice at psychiatric conventions. He’d finally stopped working such long hours at the lab so he could spend time with his kids. He’d let go of the silly notion that his son’s neurodivergent tendencies could be fixed by sending him to shrinks at a “crazy house”, and instead encouraged his strange interests, even if those interests would lead him in the complete opposite direction of what Membrane had planned for him. And after a wild dream that occurred around a month ago, he’d made a point of telling both his children how proud he was of them.

But during his research on proper parenting, he had occasionally run into the subject of abusive families and how the children were affected. The topic was helpful in teaching him to refrain from seeing his son as “insane”, and the importance of giving Gaz the time and attention she so craved. But he’d also learned of the effects in more extreme cases.

Which is why, when he saw Dib’s friend have such a reaction that caused him to pull Gaz away when he thought Membrane was upset.. He decided to go over the subject a little more carefully. A lot of the results were telling him to make the child feel comfortable to talk to him if there was such a problem... He caught sight of the clock.

“Son!” Membrane said suddenly. Dib perked up, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from a very quiet Zim, “Isn’t your little paranormal mystery show starting soon?”

“Mysterious Mysteries! Oh man, how did I forget- The zombie-ghost episode!! Can I be excused?” At the approving nod of his father’s head, Dib jumped out of his seat and ran on the slippery, newly mopped kitchen floor and tried not to slip- he held onto the doorway to the living room as he realized he was about to leave Zim alone with his family, and he stumbled back to grab the Irken by the shoulders, who squawked at the sudden manhandling, “You’re coming with me, space boy!”

“Hey, get your hands off of me! Zim didn’t give you permission to grab him!” He was thrown unceremoniously into the soft pillows of the couch and groaned.

“Well, I’m not just letting you roam around my house without you in my sight!” Dib explained, hopping on the couch and grabbing the remote.

“So you force me to indulge in your addiction to television! You’re just like Gir!” Zim grouched. Dib cringed at the comparison. 

“Yeah, well, we’re not watching ‘Bloopsy Floops Smoochy’, or whatever that show is-“

“It’s called Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy, and for your information, the subtlety and nuance behind the development between the character’s relationship picks up in season sixty!” Zim defended. Dib gave him a weird look.

“Man. You were more depressed than I thought.”

“.... Just start the show.”

As the theme song started playing, Zim noticed Dib’s getting more and more into it.

“So, what is this, some kind of documentary show?” Zim asked.

“Shh!”

The host of the show came on, explaining the premise of a ghost that couldn’t quite fit into the people they were possessing and made them act like zombies as a result. Dib was completely gone.

Zim just scoffed, “Hey, Dib, did the zombie-ghost get you too?”

But eventually, he had paid attention to the program, and within the twenty minute mark, started to see where Dib was coming from.

“Don’t go in there, lady!” He screamed at the reenactment depicting the alleged haunting victim stupidly navigating the old, creaky corridors of the meat factory she’d inherited from her uncle.

“It’s scary, right?” Dib asked.

“Pwft! Zim fears nothing!” Zim lied. His eyes were practically glued to the screen.

“I think I have a theory on why this ghost can’t fit into their hosts”

“Really? Tell Zim!”

“Well- they’re in a meat factory, right? What if the ghost used to work as a butcher, but fell into a meat grinder-“

“-And their soul took the form of their mangled, mushy body so their fragile human organs in transcendent form are no longer compatible with the living!” Zim finished.

“Yes! Exactly!” Dib said, “Man, you’re actually kinda fun to watch this with.”

The smile Zim didn’t know he was wearing fell. He suddenly felt incredibly awkward and out of place.

“Yeah... I think it’s pretty weird too.” Dib said. As the show cut to commercial, he asked, “So why did you pull my sister away from the table like that?”

“I don’t know.” Zim said seriously. Honestly.

“Really? You don’t know why, or what you thought was happening?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t think I want to know!” Zim said firmly, “Drop the subject, human!”

Dib waved his hands up in mock-defeat, and Zim grumbled to himself, “I really don’t...”

As the commercials wrapped up, and the second half of the show started, Membrane and Gaz entered the living room, the former taking a seat next to Zim and the latter sitting on the armrest next to her brother, taking her gaming console out for what had to be the 30th time today. Loud, clattering noises could be heard from the kitchen as Clembrane vigorously scrubbed the dishes.

“So! What’s this one about, son?” Membrane inquired.

Dib’s fight or flight response nearly set in, still not used to his dad trying to understand his interests. He knew he would never, not with the actual, genuine, real life 100% alien sitting right beside him, but he appreciated the effort, “It’s about a ghost in a meat factory that can’t haunt people properly, so it turns its hosts into zombies.” He explained casually.

Zim snuck a glance up at Membrane. He didn’t seem agitated, and he chose the seat next to him, rather than one of his own children. Strange. “Dib thinks the ghost died in a meat-grinder.” He added.

“Really? That sounds a little violent... what’s this program rated?” Membrane fretted.

Dib shot Zim a nasty look he didn’t even understand before turning his attention to his father, “It’s TV-PG, and you’ve let me watch so much worse, Dad!” He said, “Remember when you let me watch that live autopsy of that pig-Chicken clone?”

Zim made a noise that sounded like, “Oh, that’s why!” And Membrane just laughed nervously, resuming his attention to the TV.

Everyone became engrossed in their screen-time, and Zim was finding it increasingly harder to focus- which was exactly what he wanted. But as it became harder to focus, the more comfortable he got. His entire body relaxed as he listened to the gentle hum of Membrane’s robotic arms underneath his gloves next to him. Something about machinery helped Zim relax. Something soothing. The noises and shape of the arm reminded him of something then- his earliest memory. The first and last moment he truly felt safe and full of love he wanted to express, latching onto the thing that gave him life... Just moments before the Irkens in charge of the hatching process had discovered him and torn him away from-

“Zim?!”

“What are you DOING..”

“Ohhh, uhhh...”

Zim’s eyes snapped open, and as he glanced and felt quickly around his surroundings he discovered to his utter dismay that he had subconsciously latched onto one of Membrane’s arms as he was in his trance.

“I- No, I didn’t-“ Zim rambled as he jumped off the couch, panicked.

“Dude-“ Dib started

Zim stood in place, legs shaking as if he’d been caught attempting to murder his Tallest in front of the control brains. He had just cuddled the robotic arm of Dib’s father! He’d done the same thing with Ms Bitters’ waist that one time, but that was different. Less personal. Ms Bitters was not related to Dib, as far as he knew. And this wasn’t a casual misunderstanding, this felt so much closer, so candid, so familial and so, so real. But he needed to escape this situation he put himself in- He had to think his way out, plan the next logical step-

“It’s quite alright, young man-“ Membrane tried.

Zim screamed and ran out of the house as fast as he could

“Son, I think something’s wrong with your little foreign friend.”

“I know...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Membrane was fun to write, I hope I got his bravado and determination to do his best right!
> 
> I also hope it doesn’t seem to strange that Dib is starting to warm up to Zim. Shared interests can do that to enemies.


	4. Child in Distress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim gives up.

Zim made a mad dash for his house with a speed he hoped would outrun the current thoughts in his head. Stupid Dib and his stupid family, brainwashing Zim into wanting to be held! He was running carelessly on the sidewalk cracks he’d avoided earlier, trying to prove to himself how much he didn’t care about family in any way, shape or form. When he reached his house, he’d all but tore the door straight off the hinges.

“Welcome home, son!” The robot parents greeted.

Zim winced in disgust, before bumping past them aggressively. “I am in no mood for this!” He hissed.

“Aw, looks like someone needs some cheering up!” The robot mother said, before scooping her “son” up in a loving hug. Zim screeched and kicked himself off of her, tearing her arms off in the process.

“That’s no way to talk to your mother, son!” The robot father chided.

“Enough of this!” Zim commanded as he motioned for the mechanical arms of his computer to deactivate the robots and take them away. He rubbed his temples as they descended to the lower floor. Why did they hug him like that? Had he programmed them to do that? That’s right, he’d made them watch parental instruction videos, they must have learned the behavior- but why didn’t he uninstall that feature?

As Zim was lost in his thoughts, he had failed to notice the pitter-patter of his other robot. 

Gir grabbed his hand and tugged. “C’mon! My favorite show is starting!” He squeaked.

The familiarity smothered Zim, who’d yanked his arm away. “Do not touch me!”

Gir, innocent as ever, drew his arm back to Zim with a blank smile on his face. “I said get off!” Zim yanked his arm back with greater force, and accidentally flung Gir through the air.

Zim involuntarily Cringed as he heard Gir make impact. He turned to see if Gir was alright- Functioning. Crumpled on the floor, Gir simply giggled as he waved his arms around. Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. Until Gir’s own eyes faded to gray and his body stopped moving.

“Gir!!” Zim rushed for his robot and opened the lid off his head. He must have jostled a few circuits loose. He scrambled to fix the wires in his little robot’s head. He hoped that was all that was. He hoped his core processor hadn’t taken any permanent damage, because where could he go from that? Gir might have been a defective little robot, but he was unique! Without his charm, he’d just be like every other little robot blindly doing what his master tells him to-

“Hi, master! Why you cryin’?”

Zim’s eyes widened in surprise, before narrowing in disgust, ashamed of how easy it was for him to emote lately. He might have not been a real invader, but where did his sense of Irken pride go? How did he let these stupid, soft humans get to him so easily? Interacting with them was fine, but succumbing to- to...

“Whyyyyy are you cryin?” Gir repeated in a louder, more singsong voice. He grabbed Zim by the torso and shook him around.

“I’m not crying, Gir!” Zim defended as he unconsciously wrapped his own hands around his robot, “I- I’m obviously having some sort of allergic reaction!”

Within two seconds, for reasons he did not know, Zim was suddenly crying his eyes out as he held his giggling robot. He was so lost in his emotions, he didn’t notice the person behind him until they spoke.

“Zim?” Professor Membrane inquired.

Gir screeched, “MASTER, LOOK OUT! DIB GOT BIG AND NOW HE GONNA EAT US! AAAAAAAA!”

Zim watched as his little robot ran off screening and flapping his arms. He turned around nervously to look up at Membrane. He didn’t meet his eye, still deeply ashamed from the robot-arm-cuddling incident- Zim shuddered just thinking about it-

But that was its own separate beast. Membrane being in his house at all felt very weird. And a little scary. This was the father of Dib and Gaz, the only humans smart enough to see through Zim’s disguise and fight for the planet Earth! How smart would the older, more experienced version of them actually be? How angry would he be when he realized that it was Zim who’d taken his favorite Earth holiday away from him? Surely, he’d take a quick glance around this rushed attempt at a human house and-

“Dib didn’t tell me you were into robotics. It’s nice to know my boy at least has friends who are into REAL SCIENCE.” Membrane said, pumping a fist to emphasize the last two words.

Oh, right. Professor Membrane was a different kind of stupid.

Zim laughed nervously, but shut his mouth and made a small frown, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you ran out of here in such a rush I wanted to make sure you were ok,” Membrane explained, “But my boy-child couldn’t remember your phone number. I couldn’t shake the feeling that you might still be upset, so I came here and saw your door open. It looked like I wasn’t wrong.”

The Irken’s breath caught in his chest as he realized the implications that Membrane... Cared about his wellbeing.

“But why would you do this?” Zim asked, genuinely curious, “I am not your child! You- You’re a man of science, don’t you think it would be odd if a lion-beast took time to protect a feline-baby that wasn’t his?”

Membrane cocked his head at Zim’s word choice, but didn’t miss a second beat, “Well, yes, but that’s what separates us humans from the animals.”

Zim cringed. That sentence made his spooch churn, and he didn’t know why. He knew most humans were not far off from animals, but the human in front of him wanted to give them more credit. He wanted to believe in a better world, and for years, Zim had been trying to take that away from him, becoming an invisible enemy. And to be compared to Membrane’s ideal version of humanity? This human was too nice, and the Irken was suddenly feeling something that should have been completely foreign to him and his Pak.

The feeling, being an intense sense of guilt.

Zim took an uneven, shaky breath, “You... You shouldn’t have come here for me. You shouldn’t burden yourself like th-“

“Zim, please don’t consider yourself a burden.” Membrane interrupted before getting on one knee to get on Zim’s eye level. An action that the alien thought was nearly blasphemous, as he’d not been used to taller creatures purposely stooping to his level. The uneasy feelings in Zim continued to rise and bubble.

“Dib and Gazlene don’t have many friends, you know.” Membrane continued. Zim began to sweat, “You might think it’s silly, but I felt such pride and satisfaction seeing my son watch his little show with you. He gets bullied quite often at school, so it was nice to see him spend time with you.” Zim began to shake, “I know you might feel a little embarrassed from earlier, but just know that I realize you were only feeling comfortable and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re always welcome in my house!”

Zim made the mistake of trying too hard not to cry and instead, violently hyperventilated on the spot. Unfortunately for him, Membrane extra-noticed this, and reached out a hand to give Zim a firm, comforting pat on the shoulder. The Irken, desperate for any sense of acceptance or approval, leaned into the touch and rested his head against Membrane’s shoulder.

But as his breathing resumed a normal pace, he realized the general situation he was experiencing, and shoved himself away from the warm comfort of Membrane’s mechanical arms.

“NO!” He screeched, “I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE HELD!”

Membrane jolted back with his hands up in a neutralizing stance, but his face contorted as he processed what Zim had just shouted.

“I apologize,” Membrane said, “Although all children deserve to feel safe and loved, I understand that some prefer to avoid physical contact-“

“WHY are you APOLOGIZING?” Zim demanded, frustratingly, “It’s not right!”

The alien in disguise clenched his fists as he shook with rage where he stood. The professor tried to find the right words for this situation, but he was at a loss.

“Human... Don’t you know, deep down, what I am?” Zim asked, preparing himself for what to say next. He just couldn’t take it anymore. What had he been fighting when there were humans like the Membranes?

“Uhhhh... A latchkey kid?” Membrane said, taking note of the otherwise empty house and filthy spot of uneaten snacks on the couch.

“What if I told you that your son was right? That I am an alien?” Zim asked nervously.

“Did he-? Oh, Dib...” Membrane said, sadly shaking his head, “I thought he’d given up on that idea. I’ve told him, children with physical illnesses and social disorders feel alienated enough without-“

“No, he’s-!” Zim stopped himself from admitting anything, still weary to come clean to the threateningly powerful, tall scientist in front of him, “Just humor me, what would you do if he was right, and I was an alien who tried to rule the world?”

“Tried to?”

“Hypothetically!” Zim insisted, “Hypothetically, if I tried to take over the world, f- f- ... Failed... and gave up because... Well, nevermind why, but I did try to take over the world, what would you do!”

“Oddly specific,” Membrane said, raising an eyebrow above his goggles, “but if you were an alien-“

“WOULD YOU KILL ME?” Zim interrupted hysterically.

Membrane balked underneath his cowl. Whatever was going on with this strange, green child it couldn’t be good. He had to put his worries to rest and let him know Membrane wasn’t going to harm him.

“I mean... The well-being of earth and its habitants mean a great deal to me, so I’d certainly be disappointed.”

“But why do they mean anything to you?” Zim asked, “The humans are selfish, cruel and they don’t appreciate the accomplishments of those above them! They complain about the smallest things, but they don’t see everything wrong with the society around them!”

The Irken didn’t realize how worked up he’d gotten until he was taking deeper breaths, his legs feeling extremely wiggly at that moment.

“Well... It can be frustrating when people don’t recognize something helpful or miraculous like a- oh I don’t know, perpetual energy generator...” Membrane clenched his fist as he remembered something, “But I’m not simply a scientist- I’m an idealist! I want to believe that people can grow, and if I can help society help themselves even by a little, if I can help the Earth get back on track and get even a handful of people to keep it that way... I’ll be satisfied, because I’ll know I had the power to help make a difference. Does that make sense to you?”

Zim slumped. “No, I don’t!” He said honestly, “But I really wish I did!”

“Is this why you feel like an alien?” Membrane asked, “You don’t understand certain social-“

“That’s not why, but what would you do to me? I must know! The suspense is killing me!” Zim demanded.

“Hmm...” Membrane took a hot moment to think as Zim twitched, “I guess the first course of action I’d take would be to make sure you truly weren’t a threat to Earth anymore-“

“Through torture? Vivisection? Threatening to dismantle my only-“

“Goodness, no!” Membrane said. What an imagination this boy had on him! “I’d simply hook you up to a painless truth detecting-“

“Nyah!”

“Oh, hi, Minim-“ Membrane trailed off as he turned to gape at the small little moose thing with a funny name that floated in through the doorway. 

Just the sight of it unlocked a floodgate of repressed memories from yester-month within Professor Membrane.

His keynote presentation that suddenly stopped.

The space jail he was suddenly thrown in.

His daughter piloting a spaceship through a meteor field.

Saving his son from a robot dogpile and then fighting alongside him.

Operating the moose.

And the little green man cackling wildly as he thought he’d die a violent death alongside all of them.

He then reluctantly forced his eyes toward the little green being in front of him, his not wanting to know the truth for once bypassed by his scientific curiosity.

The... Irken?... Shakily pulled off his contacts and wig, revealing himself to be the exact green man from his dreams. Membrane expected himself to feel disgust and anger at the being in front of him, but it never came. This alien, Zim, was looking incredibly timid, as he had on and off all night. His ruby eyes looked glassy, and although it wasn’t a human face, his anxious expression was crystal clear.

Zim had put himself, the Earth and worst of all his children in danger. But their most recent discussions were still fresh in his mind, and everything began adding up to some sort of conclusion in his mind where he really wasn’t dangerous anymore. He hoped he wasn’t. His son had been watching TV with him just an hour ago. His son... He owed Dib the biggest apology.

“Human?” Zim asked in a small, miserable voice, snapping Membrane out of his train of thought. He looked down at the alien.

“What is it, Zim?” He asked in a careful voice, trying not to spook the other... Or himself.

“You promise this... Truth extraction... It won’t hurt?”

“It shouldn’t.” Membrane answered, “You’re volunteering to come with me?”

“As long as you don’t cut me open and put my insides up for display, and you promise not to dismantle my robot, I’ll come quietly and tell you everything.” Zim said with a suddenly stern tone.

“I won’t do either.” Membrane replied, “Now, put your disguise back on, and wear this.” Membrane handed him a Membracelet.

“My... Disguise?” Zim said, clamping the bracelet on his arm on autopilot.

“You and I are apparently both aware of how dangerous a panicked mob on Earth can be.” Membrane explained, “I’d like to keep your true nature out of the public eye, if possible.”

“So you DON’T want the glory of finding the first documented alien?” Zim questioned, “Are you sure you’re Dib’s dad? You owe him nice things, by the way. He thinks you don’t respect him because of me.” 

Membrane cringed. “His reasons for thinking that aren’t solely on you, and I am very proud of him. But I do owe him quite the apology.”

He pressed at the screen on his own bracelet and a bright blue, rope-like protrusion shot out of his bracelet and attached itself to Zim’s. He gave it an experimental tug, and the Irken was pulled toward him. The green man looked up at him curiously.

“A child-leash app!” Membrane explained, “I programmed it myself for unruly children or siblings who run off when they’re supposed to be watching each other in the mall, or other dangerous places at night. I understand that you’re not a child, but certain precautions must be taken at this moment.”

“Interesting...” Zim said, swinging the “rope” around, “This could have been useful for walking Gir. He likes to chew through the leashes and attack street food drones for their deep frying oil.....” He looked up at Membrane, who looked concerned, “But he‘s MOSTLY HARMLESS, and doesn’t need to be taken apart!”

“If you insist,” Membrane said, “Are you ready to go?”

Zim took a moment to adjust his wig before nodding, and they both stepped out into the night. The second walk to the Membrane household was even more awkward than the last. The possibilities of what he’d gotten himself into were eating Zim alive.

“What are the outcomes of the truth extraction?” Zim asked.

Membrane answered almost automatically, having thought about that the moment he realized what he was doing, “I’m not completely sure, but I’ll try not to be cruel if discipline is needed. If I come to the conclusion that you’re still a threat to the planet and my loved ones, I’ll maybe keep you in a secluded living area. Like a prison, but with plenty of brain stimulating activities to keep you from going insane. As for your robot, I won’t scrap it, but I’ll make sure it’s not a danger to itself or anyone around it. That goes double for the little moose.”

“Ah... And if you think I’m.... Good?” Zim asked hopefully.

Membrane almost stopped in his tracks, but forced himself to keep walking. Zim sounded like a little kid asking if there was a reward for being on his bestest behavior at a business party. Whatever his upbringing was, Membrane made a quick guess that Zim’s culture was extremely strict and infantized anyone who wasn’t in higher power. Did every Irken act like Zim? Was it a race of adult-children like it seemed based on one individual? Was Zim a child? Or an old man? How-

“Dib-Master?”

Membrane jolted and stared back at Zim, “Again, I’m not quite sure. You did take away Peace Day from me and try to destroy the Earth... and my family..”

Zim flinched.

“But I believe in letting former criminals build themselves back up, rather than rot in a cell, if they can be trusted to redeem themselves. Besides, I have much to learn from you. Hmm. I’d probably put you on planet arrest and monitor any outer-space activity, travel or otherwise, you might have.” He said nonchalantly.

“You’d let me fly my Voot-Cruiser?” Zim questioned.

“As long as you have a chaperone. And I plan on installing a system where I can call your... Voot-Cruise... Back to Earth if I think any funny business is going on.”

“Hmph!” Zim pouted, but didn’t put up a huge argument. This was so much better than he deserved from this human and he knew it. Hearing his restrictions in the best case scenario, however, made the situation suddenly a little too real for his liking, and he refused to admit how good of a deal this was, compared to, oh say, Membrane throwing him at Dib, weakened and defenseless, and ending up getting cut open like he thought.

He hated how impulsive, irrational and “feeling-y” he’d been since he found out the Tallest weren’t coming. Why did he just expose himself and go willingly with Membrane? Now that he thought about it, he could have explored his newfound freedom on his own terms, rather than letting Membrane smeet-proof everything important in his life. Why did he do this to himself? Did he like getting bossed around? Was he as conditioned as Gaz thought he was? Was Zim stupid? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stu-

“Zim- Are you aware you’re mumbling to yourself?”

“NO I WASN’T! YOU LIE!” Zim shouted, befire shrinking down, “But if you thought you did, how much of it did you pretend to hear?”

Membrane forced himself to hold in a laugh. This little space war criminal was so goofy and childlike, but he wouldn’t let him be charmed too easily! He had to be stern and rational!

“Oh, I just thought I heard something about my daughter thinking you were conditioned. It makes me wonder if my children are somehow responsible for something good about this situation.” Membrane said proudly.

“Oh, well th-“

“Hold that thought, Zim! I’d rather hear any statements you might have when I’m certain you’re telling the truth, as not to bias my opinion!” Membrane said dramatically, “also, we’re here.”

For the second time that night, Zim stood before the Membrane household. But this time, the stakes were much higher. This visit would determine his future on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter came so late! I had the idea of Membrane confronting Zim out of concern and finding out his true nature, but I scrapped and rewrote it several times to have a neutral outcome and feel somewhat natural. The next chapter should come sooner, because I know I’ll have a lot of fun writing it!!


End file.
